The stranger leaned heavily on his gold-handled walking stick. "What's the strongest thing you have?"
Graves looked up from cleaning the glass. " I'm sorry sir...Are you a member?"
The youngish stranger looked into the middle distance for a moment, his sea blue eyes unfocused and then he put his hand to his forehead. " Yes...I'm sorry...I've been away from the club for a long time..." He smiled a sad smile " I'm afraid that long trips into the deep umbra can really toss one's sense of time."
Graves looked unconvinced. " If you say so, sir. What will you have?"
The stranger smiled again, and with care, lowered himself to the barstool. "I'll have a scotch... to start."
" Right you are sir." Graves built the man a Glenlivet scotch.
The stranger peered around the place as if re-familiarizing himself with it. The place hadn't changed much, the same felt green tabletops, the same burnished oak bar. the flagstone fireplace, the overstuffed furniture....the overstuffed members...
Graves had returned. "Your drink... sir ?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I've been a right prat haven't I?" He extended his hand. " My name is Charles Tubb."
"Alexei Graves."
Charles started. " Are you by any chance related to Maximillian Graves."
" He's my father."
" I thought I recognized a resemblance. Quite a mage in his day wasn't he?"
The youngish stranger looked into the middle distance for a moment, his sea blue eyes unfocused and then he put his hand to his forehead. " Yes...I'm sorry...I've been away from the club for a long time..." He smiled a sad smile " I'm afraid that long trips into the deep umbra can really toss one's sense of time."
Graves looked unconvinced. " If you say so, sir. What will you have?"
The stranger smiled again, and with care, lowered himself to the barstool. "I'll have a scotch... to start."
" Right you are sir." Graves built the man a Glenlivet scotch.
The stranger peered around the place as if re-familiarizing himself with it. The place hadn't changed much, the same felt green tabletops, the same burnished oak bar. the flagstone fireplace, the overstuffed furniture....the overstuffed members...
Graves had returned. "Your drink... sir ?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I've been a right prat haven't I?" He extended his hand. " My name is Charles Tubb."
"Alexei Graves."
Charles started. " Are you by any chance related to Maximillian Graves."
" He's my father."
" I thought I recognized a resemblance. Quite a mage in his day wasn't he?"
" Aye. At least I like to think so."
" Following in his footsteps?"
" My family has served the Order of Hermes with distinction for several generations. And I hope to do so as well."
" Serving drinks?"
Alexei leaned in closer."Well, sir. It's either this or sentinel duty. It enables me to meet some of the elder members and learn a few things..."
"Ah."
" Following in his footsteps?"
" My family has served the Order of Hermes with distinction for several generations. And I hope to do so as well."
" Serving drinks?"
Alexei leaned in closer."Well, sir. It's either this or sentinel duty. It enables me to meet some of the elder members and learn a few things..."
"Ah."
"Also...And don't tell anyone this...But I rather like it. It's interesting and it relaxes me."
Charles smiled the first smile that didn't seem bittersweet and Alexei was struck by how blue his eyes were. He drank his Glenlivet. "It is important to do what you love, and strong is the man who can admit it. May I have another?"
"As you wish sir."
A companionable silence descended as Alexei built it and Charles dispatched it.
"So...you mentioned a trip into the deep umbra."
" Pumping me for information, brother Alexei ?"He said with a mischievous wink.
"Merely curious."
" Quite all right. It was a long trip and I saw a lot of really interesting things. It would be crass of me to keep such news to myself. I visited a great spherical library wherein I read a book containing the 9 names of God, I had tea with a retired Indian goddess, and I sojourned aboard the Mage's Pride and battled Nephandi on the frontiers."
"Sounds exciting."
"Well it's like traveling anywhere, isn't it? The food is bizarre, the people are strange and suspicious and the only real adventure is finding the bloody water closet."
"Well, when you put it like that. Why go?"
"Because ignorance is never an excuse and there are rewards of all types ...and there are friends to be met everywhere."
"Oh."
"Besides, I was looking for something specific..."
"Oh. I take it you didn't find it."
" No, I found it all right. It just wasn't what I thought it was."
Alexei couldn't help but be intrigued. "What did you find?"
" I found the Lost Factory of Wonka."
The steady mutter of the members of the Archimedes club rumbled to a stop.
" I'm sorry Mister Tubb, I must have heard you incorrectly...did you say you found Willy Wonka's Factory?"
"Even so." He dispatched another scotch.
"I was under the impression that it didn't exist, that it was a story."
"It is." said a bullish older man from the comfort of one of the leather chairs near the fire. "It is just that. A story."
Charles Tubb looked at the man for a long careful moment. " Meaning no disrespect sir, If it is a story, it is palpably true."
The older man's eyes narrowed."What I mean to say, young man, is that the Factory is nothing but a myth."
" And yet, at the center of every myth there is a kernel of truth. One cannot be a mage and not know that."
"Sir, You are either calling me a liar or an ignoramus. I'll accept no such impertinence from one of your age."
"Sir..."
"Lord Smethwick." Alexei supplied.
Charles flashed him a thankful smile, "Lord Smethwick, I mean no disrespect and any insult that you imagine that I have done you is just that...Imaginary. As imaginary as you supposed my story must be. I haven't even told it and yet you insist that I am the liar....I mean no offense and I will forthwith drop the subject. If no one wishes to hear my tale, then I will not tell it."
Alexei looked up. " Mister Tubb, I must admit I'm curious. Tell me, if no one else."
"Glad to Alexei, Same again please..."
The older man levered himself from his seat and bellowed hoarsely," ROT AND BALDERDASH! How DARE you profane this place of learning with such arrant nonsense!"
"Smethwick please!"
"Quiet Braithwaite! Young man, I should have you thrashed for such insolence! And you as well Graves!"
Charles turned with elaborate care. " I'm sorry that you feel that way, sir. And you are certainly entitled to believe what you will...but I was there. And I know what I saw. I visited the Lost Factory of William Wonka."
Arthur Smethwick drew himself up at the soft reproach. " Well then, Where is it precisely?"
Charles smiled again. " Ah well that's the problem, isn't it. It drifts you see. I can tell you where I found it but I guarantee that it won't be there when you look for it."
" A Horizon realm that drifts? What utter Rot! "
Charles looked to Alexei. " It started out as a Horizon realm but it's taken on a life of its own."
"That does happen Smethwick..." Braithwaite offered.
" Braithwaite!...It's merely a story !"
" Smethwick, Be SILENT." Said a powerful voice near the fireplace.
" But, Alistair!"
The Elder Mage turned and pinned him with his eyes." Subside Smethwick.You are a tiresome boor, with a mind as closed as a nun's knees, and besides, you didn't know the man."
" Alistair... what are you saying?"
" What I am saying, dear Smethwick, Is that I knew William James Wonka and his father before him. It's not a pretty story nor does it end happily but it is most assuredly true. Will you also be calling me a liar?"
Charles smiled the first smile that didn't seem bittersweet and Alexei was struck by how blue his eyes were. He drank his Glenlivet. "It is important to do what you love, and strong is the man who can admit it. May I have another?"
"As you wish sir."
A companionable silence descended as Alexei built it and Charles dispatched it.
"So...you mentioned a trip into the deep umbra."
" Pumping me for information, brother Alexei ?"He said with a mischievous wink.
"Merely curious."
" Quite all right. It was a long trip and I saw a lot of really interesting things. It would be crass of me to keep such news to myself. I visited a great spherical library wherein I read a book containing the 9 names of God, I had tea with a retired Indian goddess, and I sojourned aboard the Mage's Pride and battled Nephandi on the frontiers."
"Sounds exciting."
"Well it's like traveling anywhere, isn't it? The food is bizarre, the people are strange and suspicious and the only real adventure is finding the bloody water closet."
"Well, when you put it like that. Why go?"
"Because ignorance is never an excuse and there are rewards of all types ...and there are friends to be met everywhere."
"Oh."
"Besides, I was looking for something specific..."
"Oh. I take it you didn't find it."
" No, I found it all right. It just wasn't what I thought it was."
Alexei couldn't help but be intrigued. "What did you find?"
" I found the Lost Factory of Wonka."
The steady mutter of the members of the Archimedes club rumbled to a stop.
" I'm sorry Mister Tubb, I must have heard you incorrectly...did you say you found Willy Wonka's Factory?"
"Even so." He dispatched another scotch.
"I was under the impression that it didn't exist, that it was a story."
"It is." said a bullish older man from the comfort of one of the leather chairs near the fire. "It is just that. A story."
Charles Tubb looked at the man for a long careful moment. " Meaning no disrespect sir, If it is a story, it is palpably true."
The older man's eyes narrowed."What I mean to say, young man, is that the Factory is nothing but a myth."
" And yet, at the center of every myth there is a kernel of truth. One cannot be a mage and not know that."
"Sir, You are either calling me a liar or an ignoramus. I'll accept no such impertinence from one of your age."
"Sir..."
"Lord Smethwick." Alexei supplied.
Charles flashed him a thankful smile, "Lord Smethwick, I mean no disrespect and any insult that you imagine that I have done you is just that...Imaginary. As imaginary as you supposed my story must be. I haven't even told it and yet you insist that I am the liar....I mean no offense and I will forthwith drop the subject. If no one wishes to hear my tale, then I will not tell it."
Alexei looked up. " Mister Tubb, I must admit I'm curious. Tell me, if no one else."
"Glad to Alexei, Same again please..."
The older man levered himself from his seat and bellowed hoarsely," ROT AND BALDERDASH! How DARE you profane this place of learning with such arrant nonsense!"
"Smethwick please!"
"Quiet Braithwaite! Young man, I should have you thrashed for such insolence! And you as well Graves!"
Charles turned with elaborate care. " I'm sorry that you feel that way, sir. And you are certainly entitled to believe what you will...but I was there. And I know what I saw. I visited the Lost Factory of William Wonka."
Arthur Smethwick drew himself up at the soft reproach. " Well then, Where is it precisely?"
Charles smiled again. " Ah well that's the problem, isn't it. It drifts you see. I can tell you where I found it but I guarantee that it won't be there when you look for it."
" A Horizon realm that drifts? What utter Rot! "
Charles looked to Alexei. " It started out as a Horizon realm but it's taken on a life of its own."
"That does happen Smethwick..." Braithwaite offered.
" Braithwaite!...It's merely a story !"
" Smethwick, Be SILENT." Said a powerful voice near the fireplace.
" But, Alistair!"
The Elder Mage turned and pinned him with his eyes." Subside Smethwick.You are a tiresome boor, with a mind as closed as a nun's knees, and besides, you didn't know the man."
" Alistair... what are you saying?"
" What I am saying, dear Smethwick, Is that I knew William James Wonka and his father before him. It's not a pretty story nor does it end happily but it is most assuredly true. Will you also be calling me a liar?"
Charles smiled. " Sir. You seem to know the story that I don't. Will you tell it?"
Alistair regarded the young man for a long moment and then smiled in kind. " I will if you will tell us of your visit to the lost factory."
" Certainly, if this goodly barkeep will volunteer to keep me properly lubricated."
"I would be honored." said Alexei.
" Are we to tell Fairy tales around the fire now, like children at camp?"
" Sod off Smethwick or stay and keep quiet. You might learn something."
Arthur Smethwick stood and work his jaw like a beached flounder. Then he turned and looked at Braithwaite, who didn't move and then without another word stormed from the room. Alistair looked after him. " I haven't seen the old bastard that ruffled in many a day. Graves. The young gentleman's drinks are on my tab...and one for me as well."
"You said you would tell us the beginning."
"And so I shall...Do you know how the Wonka fortune was made?"
" No sir, I do not."
His father was an arms manufacturer. Sold weapons, made millions. A thoroughly disagreeable copper-plated bastard if I recall correctly. When he passed away he left the entire fortune to his only son even though they hadn't spoken for 10 years. No one was more surprised than he. He had eschewed the luxury of living with his family over principles and in fact, the last time they spoke was to argue at the grave of his mother. When William inherited the arms factory he took the entire fortune and retooled it into a candy making factory.
"Why candy?" asked Charles.
"Why not? The rumor in Magi circles was that he had a friend who was a Solificati or was one himself. But I knew the man and I can honestly say that his mission was to bring as much joy and wonder to the world as his father had brought pain, suffering, and death. He gave selflessly to charities of sorts and also to private individuals. He even sponsored scholarships. I think it was this selfless giving that nearly ruined him."
"That's right." said Braithwaite," I remember reading about this. Supposedly, the Syndicate had a candy company run by a fellow named Arthur Slugworth and they nearly put him out of business."
"Correct." said Alistair " Slugworth candy was cheaper, tasted almost as good as Wonka Candy, and gave you twice as many cavities, thus propping up the Progenitors...Sodding Bastards... Wonka shut the factory and it is widely believed that it is at this time that he became a Marauder... It was after that Golden Ticket incident that the Technocracy realized what a hold he had on the public imagination and they began to hound him relentlessly afterward. He managed to stay in business for another few years but found it simply too difficult. That's when he left and never came back...Taking the entire bloody factory with him when he left. And that is all that is really known of the factory...until today. Tell us, Mr. Tubb, of your visit.
Charles regarded the room.He held the attention of every man there. " I found it by traipsing across the high umbra. At first, I didn't recognize it. It looked so grubby and antiquated that I thought it must be abandoned or some ancient technocratic installation. But as I came closer I saw the unmistakable smokestacks and the Wonka Logo. I found that the factory is still operating after all this time. It is populated by a group of very short people who are called Oompa-Loompas who run the factory according to the master's specifications. Apparently, Wonka invited them from their realm which was very inhospitable and Wonka put them to work."
" Are they mages?"
"No. Not so far as I can tell. I asked them about how they protect themselves from Marauders and Nephandi and they just smiled and said the factory is more than capable of protecting itself."
"How large is it?"
"Small on the outside but unbelievably huge on the inside.It still looks like a grubby Manchester factory"
"What's it like."
"It's beautiful, It's wondrous...It is the most depressing place in the Tellurian."
"What?"
The smile had gone from Charles's face and Alexei saw that there was a reason for very strong drink. "When I first arrived, the Oompa-Loompas were glad to see me, answered every question I had, showed the whole of the factory with great pride. I saw things that beggar description and I saw wonders that haunt me to this day. But here is what makes me sad... It's all for nothing."
" How do you mean?"
" Alistair. that factory was meant to produce love and joy and happiness in bulk for the children of the world and they don't have it. I took two large sackfuls of candy with me when I went. The Oompa-Loompas insisted. And I found that Wonka had made strange breakthroughs in the art of confection. He created candies that can give one a taste of Wonder, or of their lost Innocence, My god man...I wasn't this YOUNG when I entered the factory. But it is cut off from the place that it was meant to give all that joy to and all the Oompa-Loompas can do is run the factory and hope that Wonka returns."
"He's not there?"
" Left decades ago, Apparently."
"Why not just go back?"
" Because, Lord Alistair Greylen, I can't find it. And I've been looking for the last four years."
And with that, Charles looked down at his glass and then hurled it into the fireplace. The room went quiet as each old Mage digested this news. Charles looked up again with bright tears in his eyes" I'm sorry. It always makes me feel this way. Unfortunately, the booze doesn't seem to be helping. I'm sorry...I fear I'm going to become poor company, so pardon me please."
Lord Greylen spoke up. " It's quite all right lad... I think I understand."
The man gathered his coat and stick and began to leave but just before he left, he reached into his pocket and laid 100 quid on the bar and laid a Wonka bar atop it. He looked into Alexei astonished eyes and said "Thank you for the whiskey and the hospitality." and left the club without another word.
The old mages of the Archimedes club sat in the firelight with their whiskey and cigars and looked after him.
* * *
The night was cold and dampish in Kensington, as per usual. Charles stood in the alley and looked at his antique pocket watch. A soft whirring sound reached his ears and his smile grew wide and genuine.
"Ahoy there."
" Hi, Grampa." He said to the youthful man.
" How'd it go?"
" Better than I had any right to expect. I know I got one, I think maybe two. maybe more."
The door slammed shut and the two young men rose into the air, catching the moonlight with their great glass Wonka-Vator.
Alistair regarded the young man for a long moment and then smiled in kind. " I will if you will tell us of your visit to the lost factory."
" Certainly, if this goodly barkeep will volunteer to keep me properly lubricated."
"I would be honored." said Alexei.
" Are we to tell Fairy tales around the fire now, like children at camp?"
" Sod off Smethwick or stay and keep quiet. You might learn something."
Arthur Smethwick stood and work his jaw like a beached flounder. Then he turned and looked at Braithwaite, who didn't move and then without another word stormed from the room. Alistair looked after him. " I haven't seen the old bastard that ruffled in many a day. Graves. The young gentleman's drinks are on my tab...and one for me as well."
"You said you would tell us the beginning."
"And so I shall...Do you know how the Wonka fortune was made?"
" No sir, I do not."
His father was an arms manufacturer. Sold weapons, made millions. A thoroughly disagreeable copper-plated bastard if I recall correctly. When he passed away he left the entire fortune to his only son even though they hadn't spoken for 10 years. No one was more surprised than he. He had eschewed the luxury of living with his family over principles and in fact, the last time they spoke was to argue at the grave of his mother. When William inherited the arms factory he took the entire fortune and retooled it into a candy making factory.
"Why candy?" asked Charles.
"Why not? The rumor in Magi circles was that he had a friend who was a Solificati or was one himself. But I knew the man and I can honestly say that his mission was to bring as much joy and wonder to the world as his father had brought pain, suffering, and death. He gave selflessly to charities of sorts and also to private individuals. He even sponsored scholarships. I think it was this selfless giving that nearly ruined him."
"That's right." said Braithwaite," I remember reading about this. Supposedly, the Syndicate had a candy company run by a fellow named Arthur Slugworth and they nearly put him out of business."
"Correct." said Alistair " Slugworth candy was cheaper, tasted almost as good as Wonka Candy, and gave you twice as many cavities, thus propping up the Progenitors...Sodding Bastards... Wonka shut the factory and it is widely believed that it is at this time that he became a Marauder... It was after that Golden Ticket incident that the Technocracy realized what a hold he had on the public imagination and they began to hound him relentlessly afterward. He managed to stay in business for another few years but found it simply too difficult. That's when he left and never came back...Taking the entire bloody factory with him when he left. And that is all that is really known of the factory...until today. Tell us, Mr. Tubb, of your visit.
Charles regarded the room.He held the attention of every man there. " I found it by traipsing across the high umbra. At first, I didn't recognize it. It looked so grubby and antiquated that I thought it must be abandoned or some ancient technocratic installation. But as I came closer I saw the unmistakable smokestacks and the Wonka Logo. I found that the factory is still operating after all this time. It is populated by a group of very short people who are called Oompa-Loompas who run the factory according to the master's specifications. Apparently, Wonka invited them from their realm which was very inhospitable and Wonka put them to work."
" Are they mages?"
"No. Not so far as I can tell. I asked them about how they protect themselves from Marauders and Nephandi and they just smiled and said the factory is more than capable of protecting itself."
"How large is it?"
"Small on the outside but unbelievably huge on the inside.It still looks like a grubby Manchester factory"
"What's it like."
"It's beautiful, It's wondrous...It is the most depressing place in the Tellurian."
"What?"
The smile had gone from Charles's face and Alexei saw that there was a reason for very strong drink. "When I first arrived, the Oompa-Loompas were glad to see me, answered every question I had, showed the whole of the factory with great pride. I saw things that beggar description and I saw wonders that haunt me to this day. But here is what makes me sad... It's all for nothing."
" How do you mean?"
" Alistair. that factory was meant to produce love and joy and happiness in bulk for the children of the world and they don't have it. I took two large sackfuls of candy with me when I went. The Oompa-Loompas insisted. And I found that Wonka had made strange breakthroughs in the art of confection. He created candies that can give one a taste of Wonder, or of their lost Innocence, My god man...I wasn't this YOUNG when I entered the factory. But it is cut off from the place that it was meant to give all that joy to and all the Oompa-Loompas can do is run the factory and hope that Wonka returns."
"He's not there?"
" Left decades ago, Apparently."
"Why not just go back?"
" Because, Lord Alistair Greylen, I can't find it. And I've been looking for the last four years."
And with that, Charles looked down at his glass and then hurled it into the fireplace. The room went quiet as each old Mage digested this news. Charles looked up again with bright tears in his eyes" I'm sorry. It always makes me feel this way. Unfortunately, the booze doesn't seem to be helping. I'm sorry...I fear I'm going to become poor company, so pardon me please."
Lord Greylen spoke up. " It's quite all right lad... I think I understand."
The man gathered his coat and stick and began to leave but just before he left, he reached into his pocket and laid 100 quid on the bar and laid a Wonka bar atop it. He looked into Alexei astonished eyes and said "Thank you for the whiskey and the hospitality." and left the club without another word.
The old mages of the Archimedes club sat in the firelight with their whiskey and cigars and looked after him.
* * *
The night was cold and dampish in Kensington, as per usual. Charles stood in the alley and looked at his antique pocket watch. A soft whirring sound reached his ears and his smile grew wide and genuine.
"Ahoy there."
" Hi, Grampa." He said to the youthful man.
" How'd it go?"
" Better than I had any right to expect. I know I got one, I think maybe two. maybe more."
The door slammed shut and the two young men rose into the air, catching the moonlight with their great glass Wonka-Vator.
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